Pickle Ball (Fact and Fiction)

Now that I am settled into this retirement lifestyle I’ve taken up the obligatory game of PICKLE BALL, and in my search for knowledge I’ve decided to separate the fact from fiction. 

Family lore, passed down through the generations had told me the game was invented shortly after the Salem witch trials by Maniacs who were looking for something to do between the demanding Badminton and Wiffle Ball seasons.  The game, I was told, derived its name from the fact the founding fathers (their wives all having been found wanting at the witch trials) had taken the used wiffle ball away from the family pet (named Pickles) and using crude paddles fashioned from those used to discipline the children had found enjoyment in whacking Pickle’s ball back and forth.  I had carried this as truth until just recently when I found the “official site” of Pickle Ball on the world wide web of useless knowledge.

The official site[1] tells us three Congressmen from Washington State created the game in 1965 after they had completed a round of golf and arriving home found they actually had wives and children.  This is remarkable for two reasons.  First, it suggests politicians from Washington can actually accomplish something that does not involve increasing taxes, and they accomplish more at home than when being paid to attend the Congress.

The Equipment:

Think of the game as a cross between table tennis and badminton.  It is played on a badminton size court (in our case asphalt) with an extra area by the net.  For some strange reason this area is called the kitchen.  You can tell this game was invented by chauvinist men because you are supposed to stay out of the kitchen except on that rare occasion you find your pickle ball in it.

The paddles have evolved with technology and are now much bigger than those original ping-pong paddles (and more expensive).  They are about the size of a racket ball paddle and are handled similarly.

Pickle’s ball has also evolved and it is much stronger than the Wiffle ball that started this new sport that is growing into international prominence.  There are indoor and outdoor balls now and they come in a variety of attractive colors that help old people see them.

The net looks like a tennis net but is lower, reaching only two feet in the center and a little higher at the posts.

The Game:

The game is best enjoyed by four people (so you don’t have to move too much) and begins when one player yells at the other side “zero, zero, two.” He or she then smacks the ball diagonally across the net trying to get it into the rectangle past the kitchen.  The opposing player then whacks it back.

The ball must hit the ground at least twice, once on the serve and once on the return, before the players can move up to the net and try smashing it into the face of the opposing team.

Teams can only score points when they are serving and the game ends when either of these two conditions are reached.

a.  One team reaches eleven points and leads the other team by two points.

b.  One of the players passes out and an ambulance is called.

The Future:

I am told professional leagues have been formed, there is now a governing body setting all sorts of trivial rules, and it is only a matter of time until we have line judges and players yelling at them.  So everyone is really looking forward to seeing Pickle Ball on television where the drama and excitement will displace the NFL as a must watch TV event.  As far as I know no one has either played the national anthem before the match begins, or has taken a knee if it was played.  So we have that to look forward to.

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[1] https://www.pickleball.com/History-birth-of-pickleball-s/115.htm