Fear

While I don’t think of myself as especially unique I’ve come to believe in some aspects I must be.  As I watch this pandemic unfold I watch the responses of some and see the anger and fear in their posts.  I made the mistake of asking one person to explain why she was angry and what she would do differently.  This exercise failed for all it did was solicit a non-committal response.  The individual was mad at how others were behaving.  Those others were behaving in ways the politicians and talking heads had told them were inappropriate and now the individual was mad.

This seems to be the way for so many of us.  We want the government to keep us safe, and when it appears the government isn’t doing enough to keep us safe we are mad.  We’re mad at the governments, we’re mad at those who might possibly threaten us, and we’re mad in general because we are afraid.  Fear is a powerful emotion, it overwhelms reason, and for those who have come to believe we in the United States have so little to fear when it strikes all else is put aside.

For me, I’ve been in situations where fear was real, but all I could do was follow my training and do my job.  I expect that is true for most defenders of our nation, whether in the military or in public services like a fire or police department.  While I can’t personally speak to the courage of a firefighter I am sure it is real for they willingly go into situations where their lives are at risk, and many of them don’t come out.  Are they afraid when they go?  I’m sure there is a degree of fear, but like so many brave souls, they’ve learned to compartmentalize it and follow their training.  Trusting in God, or in their training, all will work out in the end.  When you’ve not had to make these kinds of choices in your life I think you are struck by the risks you had not thought existed.

That is what this pandemic has done, it has brought to so many a fear they can’t control and how they react is unique and individual for each of us.  Some become compulsive in their actions, others look to the guidelines as if they are sacred scripture and others lock themselves away afraid for their own safety, as well as others, from an enemy they can’t see and don’t know how to fight.