Saving The Earth for a Generation Who Don't Want Kids

Summing up the week in Democratic Politics seems to come down to which of the clowns is really driving the clown car?

CNN held some sort of marathon political rally for its candidates calling it a town hall on the environment.  Within the seven hours of softball questions and blathering, we've learned little about how they would actually save the world, but a great deal about how little they really know of how our nation works within the context of the global community.

First, we come to saving the ocean creatures.  The key to marine survival is to eliminate plastic straws.  The pioneering work on this has been done by the brilliant progressive scholars on the left coast.  This work has been supported by those equally brilliant scholars on the east coast who know without exception that "Big Gulp" drinks are making Americans obese.  There is clearly a cause and effect relationship they are working to figure out, but they do know without straws you can't drink Big Gulps and as a side benefit the turtles will all be saved.  Ms. Harris knows the pain this will cause, for she has used a paper straw once and knows they bend and collapse unless you drink everything in the first 30-seconds.

Mayor Pete and Bato, while chomping down on the subject of red meat and straws recognize they are somehow part of the problem that leads to global warming and certain death unless the Green New Deal completely alters the planet's ecosystem within the next 24-months are willing to identify others whose appetites need to be altered.

Next, we come to clean energy.  Everyone just knows those greedy tycoons in the carbon-based fuels group (coal, oil, and natural gas) are spending billions of dollars to keep us from realizing the true potential of wind-driven cars and solar homes.  We, in the US, must be completely off of such toxic things like petrochemical and nuclear fuels if we are to singlehandedly save the planet for the Chinese.  Besides, saving our petrochemical supply to make plastic (except for straws) will extend our domination in the creation of products that fill the landfills and the oceans, but don't affect marine life except for the unfortunate few who get caught in the carriers for our beer cans and our fishing lines and nets.

The drama in this latest political rally was so great Joe Biden burst a blood vessel in his eye while he explained how he had saved the planet so many times before any of this latest crop of wannabes was around. 

While all this was happening, God created the world's worst Hurricane because of all the global warming we've been doing.  Fortunately for us, some politicians just knew this storm was a result of President Trump's misuse of sharpie marking pens and they hoped God would send its wind to destroy Mara-Largo.  If people who were unfortunate enough to live near there were killed it was a small price to pay.   I am sure the people living around Mara-Largo were thankful God didn't listen to them.  Unfortunately, this meant the Bahama's had to suffer the brunt of the storm while God looked for another den of inequity to smite.

At the end of the day, I'm still not sure which insane candidate will face the wrath of President Trump in the upcoming election.  So far it seems like each of them is trying to out-crazy their competition, which plays into the crazy ideas of those infected by TDS.