Things We Should Ban – Because They Kill People

I’ve been thinking about this whole gun ban thingy and I’ve got to agree we should ban anything and everything we have that kills people or incites people to kill other people.  I think this is the only sane approach to saving human life.  So here is my list of things we must ban, loosely assembled into categories for easy choosing:

Transportation: airplanes, automobiles (including gas, diesel, electric, hybrid, self-driving and individual control), forklifts, buses, trucks, trains (including high and low speed, monorails, incline, subways and vacuum tube), tanks, motorcycles, spacecraft, boats, ships, balloons (including both helium and hot air), dirigibles (or rigid balloons), scooters, bicycles, and stilts.  I’m not certain about teleportation, but I seem to remember at least a couple of scrambled molecules so for right now, to be safe it too should be banned.

Recreation:  Mountain climbing, swimming, sun tanning, hiking, racing (both as a by-product of the restrictions on transportation, and foot racing), tennis, baseball, football, cards, drinking alcohol, eating tide pods, smoking (including both legal and currently illegal substances), hunting, archery, shooting, and chess (unless you are under a certain age).  Soccer is probably okay because no one really gets hurt, they all fake their injuries to draw a yellow or red card against their opponent.  Viewing soccer, on the other hand, must be outlawed.

Professions:  Soldiers (sailors and airman included here and covered under transportation), doctors, nurses, pharmacists, construction (including both skilled and unskilled labor), postal workers, manufacturing, farming, forestry, police, fire, EMT, manufacturing, panhandling, protesting, transportation (see: transportation), government (including politicians, bureaucrats, and workers), data processing, college professors, K-12 teachers (and administrative support), beauticians, manicurists, internet surveillance watchers, coders, publishing, and veterinarians (just to be on the safe side).

Tools:  All power tools, hammers, saws, rope, guns (muskets, rifles – both single shot and semi-automatic, pistols), bows and arrows, knives, hatchets and axes, swords, toasters, gas ovens, televisions, corkscrews, microwaves, lawn mowers (may fall under the power tool category, or in the South under the transportation section), screwdrivers, and files.

Finally, we need to outlaw Individual Choice since this is perhaps the biggest killer of them all.