Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Milkshakes

We have now weaponized my beloved Milkshake.  The left has decided the destruction of innocent milkshakes is an appropriate form of civil protest.  Once more offering proof they are insane, with no ability to make rational decisions.
We must get these military-grade milkshakes off the street before innocent people dressed in polyester are subjected to what is undoubtedly a PTSD causing attack.
Since milkshakes, except perhaps alcoholic ones, are not protected by the U.S. Constitution I am calling for a nationwide ban on the sale of milkshakes to everyone under the age of 68.  That age limit should be gradually increased each year until it is limited to people over 100. 
As an alternative, people who like milkshakes could be registered into a global database,  undergo a complete mental exam to ensure they will not abuse the privilege of drinking such a dangerous drink and be allowed limited access to such a dangerous drink on alternate Wednesdays.

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