A Man Walks into a Bar.

I think humor must be the hardest thing to write.  I think I have a good sense of humor, I see the nonsensical things around me and find most of it comical.  Yet when I sit down to write about it, it doesn’t come out that way.  For example...

You know that old adage “If you love something set it free.  If it comes back to you, it’s yours.  If it doesn’t it never was.”  

In 1991 we were flying out of Incirlik AB in Turkey.  We had been confined to base the entire duration of Desert Storm and were finally released to go off base where we could have a drink.  Some guys from the 7th Special Operations Squadron where hanging out in a roof top bar named “The Eagle Bar.”  It got its name from the fact the owner kept a Golden Eagle chained up in the bar.  After about an afternoon of drinking the airman were starting to feel sorry for the Eagle, and hatched a plan to free the bird from its captivity.

While a couple of the guys kept the bar tender busy fixing new drinks, one of the guys took out his "Leatherman" and proceeded to cut the chain holding the bird on the perch.  As soon as the bird was loose he put on the glove by the cage and lifted the bird to the sky and tossed him off the roof, crying “FLY... BE FREE!”  The bird took off flapping for all it was worth.  Unfortunately, its wings had been clipped and despite all its efforts it was only able to make it to the river.

It was then the astute airman learned Eagles can’t swim.  The results: A tragic loss of a captive raptor, and the drinking privileges of the three or four drunk airman who where confined to base the rest of their time in Turkey.

See, it seemed a lot funnier when I was watching it unfold or telling it to a bunch of drunk airman.


P.S.  The bar owner received restitution from the group of animal loving airman involved.