10 Rules for Flying

Rule 1:  Unless you are the Pilot, First Officer, or other flight crew and are being paid to do it – Don’t fly.

Rule 2:  If you absolutely have to travel, and don’t meet the qualifications noted in Rule 1, consider all alternatives first; like walking, driving, sailing, or sending someone else.

Rule 3:  If you have complied with Rule 2, fail the qualifications of Rule 1, and still want to fly consider psychiatric counseling

Rule 4:  If after Rule 2 and Rule 3 you still want to fly carry on your person everything you need to survive for a week

Rule 5:  Take out extra life insurance at the counter.  What’s that you say, they don’t offer flight life insurance anymore?  That should tell you why Rule 1 is so important.

Rule 6:  Always sit in the back, that way you will be the last one to crash, and you are near the toilets.  On the down side, this can be a problem on long, or long-delayed flights so bring air freshener.

Rule 7: Bring earplugs and a clean pacifier or two

Rule 9: Lose as much weight as possible to fit in the new seats

Rule 10:  Reconsider Rule 1.