Billions of years ago (5,775
years on the Jewish calendar) there was a garden, everyone in the garden was
happy until someone named Fig Newton dropped an apple and there was a big bang
when it hit the garden shed’s steel roof.
Eve found the apple, and eating
it she immediately realized she was naked.
She ran looking for Adam to complain about not having any cloths to wear. She then got her girl friends to
take her to the mall and get the latest in fashion. This is known as original
sin.
When the bills started coming
in Adam realized gardening was just not a profitable line of work and went into
hunting. He and Eve moved around a lot
chasing dinosaurs and rabbits, but still found time for a lot of begetting. So their family grew and each one of them set
out to do their own begetting.
Then at some point someone
named Fanny May talked the Pharaohs into a building boom where everyone was
supposed to have their own pyramid, but this led to a collapse of the pyramid market and Moses was elected to lead the Israelites on a 40 year tour of the Sinai looking
for the promised land. This was the
beginning of the Democratic Party and it continues to this day to seek out the
promised land of milk and honey.
Then, due to the burning of
carbon based fuels the sun was blotted out and we entered the dark ages where
the feudal system was invented. Some guy
named Machiavelli taught everyone how to be subtle in politics by killing off
the opposition and is credited with the development of the Republican
Party. The feudal system was carried to
its ultimate state when the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s had their feud. After
that the McCain-Feinstein act limited the amount of people could spend on feuds
so Marvel Comics invented Super PAC man.
Meanwhile, while all this was
going on some of the other children of Adam and Eve figured out that Science
was evil or that at least scientists were not to be trusted. This led to the creation of the department of
homeland security who were also known in the scientific world as peers. These guys or gals were the only ones who
were allowed to question the scientific theology. Eventually the department began to question
the people who thought science was evil, and this led to profiling. To this day members of the department of
homeland security can only be viewed from the side and can't see their image in the mirror.
1 comment:
LOL. Thanks, enjoyed the read.
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