Things I Have Always Wondered About

• If there were starving children in China, why wasn’t there a way for me to mail them my vegetables?
• Why are school buses yellow?
• Who in the Navy decided left should be called port, and right should be starboard?
• If you are half way to the moon, which way is down?  (As in everything that goes up, must come down)
• Who taught the French to kiss?
• Why did it take Europeans so long to figure out baths helped you stay healthier?
• How do big Italian hookers fit into little Italian Fiats?
• If Turkey and Greece were to sign a treaty would it be the Turkey Greece Peace?
• If Great Britain sent all its convicts to settle Australia, where does Australia send its convicts?
• Why aren’t there crosses on Easter Island?
• If ships sink when they have a hole in them, why don’t submarines float?
• Why are submarines and aircraft carriers called boats and everything else is a ship?
• When did Florida drivers lose the ability to read traffic signs and why does Florida bother putting up signs when they know drivers can’t read them?  (It only confuses the out-of-state drivers.)
• If the Kennedy’s were a clan, why didn’t they wear skirts?
• When Mt Vesuvius destroyed Naples, why didn’t the Italians take the hint?
• If Swiss Cows live on the sides of mountains, why isn’t one leg shorter than the other?
• Why are deer so hard to kill when you’re hunting, but so easy to kill when you’re driving?
•  What did librarians use before Google?
• Did Dewey invent the decimal system before or after he lost his bid for President?
• Is the Fulda Gap an upscale store in Germany?
• What sadistic air traffic controller decided that every airplane going into Frankfurt had to hold over Rudesheim until they were almost out of gas?
• When the Soviets occupied Poland, why didn’t they patch up all the bullet holes in Warsaw?
• Why in Great Britain isn’t there a straight line between where you are and where you want to go?
• Why don’t teenagers run the government, since they know everything?
• If there are alien spacecraft, why did they only crash that one time in Roswell, NM and wasn’t it lucky our government was there to clean it up?
• What is a cubit?
• What wine does a cannibal use with European?  How about with a Middle Eastern?
• Who figured out if you took grapes and walked on them and stuck them in a barrel for a year it was okay to drink?
• Last one:
• Did Polar Bears eat all the Penguins in the Artic?