An interesting thing happened the other day and it got me to thinking about the interconnectivity of our lives the Internet and smart software has brought about. When I left High School, I was a somewhat shy, awkward, lonesome young man who was sure of only one thing; I was going to find a way to fly in the Air Force. I had several friends, but none would remain friends though my life. I wanted to leave the past and set out towards a different future. I went to college several states away from where I grew up. When I was home for summers I did not seek out old acquaintances and reestablish friendships. I am not sure why, other than a feeling it would just reinforce those feelings of being an outsider I always had.
In the course of a life, as my family connections back to my home shrunk so did my knowledge of the classmates I had gone through 12 years of schooling with. I never went back to reunions; there was always something that kept me away. For the 10th I was in Japan, and it seemed too far to come. For the 20th I was in Germany and we had an exercise I was in charge of. The 25th found me in Florida, preparing to retire from the Air Force. These were all legitimate excuses but in truth I think I was just afraid of what I would find and how few would care I was there.
So here we are now 40 plus years after graduation and I am now connected to several of these classmates through Facebook. I view their pictures, see their comments, read a blog or two, and am reconnected at a superficial level. We post pictures of family, of a recent class picnics and I am again returned to that age, long ago where I felt semi-connected, as if a stranger looking in on a scene. They comment on my pictures or my posts, we offer snippets of polite conversation and we go our separate ways. It is as if I am pulled back to those cold winter nights when I listened to Simon and Garfunkel and the Beatles.
So what has got me so melancholy on this warm summer night? I was at a loss the other night when someone I have not talked with in 40 years was in pain and she conveyed that pain across the space that separates but binds us all together. I didn’t know the right thing to say, the way to say it or have any hope of easing her pain. I could only sit there in my frustration hoping all will be well for her.
But, I guess this is how life is. We do what we can with what we are given, and hope that it will be enough.
3 comments:
Sometimes when in great pain people stumble past natural boundaries or are vulnerable in realms where the actual balm they need can't be gracefully applied...
On the other hand...never underestimate the power of just letting someone know you are listening and care...I mean sometimes the best thing one can say when another reveals their pain...is " ouch."
It helps one know...that they and their struggles are at least visible.
I am sure you know all this that I am blathering away here...but now you know someone else also sees a glimpse of you...standing on the cliff hollering as you said, and searching for the good high tech can do, not the tweet-pic nonsense, not the empty platitudes endlessly...but using the astounding communication advantages to actually communicate and thereby add value to your life and the lives of others....an increase of your sphere of influence. BUt as you surely know from your many years of service, sometimes all we can do is stand in the gap and acknowledge that we are powerless to change some things.
Still...the fact that a person stops and cares matters.
Nicely said Jeannette
Your touch of melancholy makes all the sense in the world.
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