Ramblings of a Father, on Father’s Day

There are no perfect fathers.  There may be great, good, fair and bad fathers, but since they are all, or now mostly all, men they can’t be perfect.

The value of a father in a child’s life depends on two things.  The first is involvement the second is consistency, children need to know you will be there and that when you say something it certain.  Without these values there is confusion.

Too many fathers fail to understand their father’s mistakes and carry them forward to their own families.

It is easy to be a father; it is tough to be a Dad.

Success is measured by achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.  Success in life — by the impact you’ve had on those around you.

Government involvement and oversight does not make better fathers.

Being consistent and always backing your children in a conflict is not the same thing.  Odds are 50% of the time your kid is probably on the wrong side of the issue.  Sometimes you’ve got to be judge and jury.

If you are fighting with your wife (or mate), there are no really good options with the kids.  Everyone is going to pay some kind of price; hopefully the fight was worth it.

Lastly, everyone talks about equality, but no one really wants it.  Everyone wants to be in charge.  Those who argue the loudest want it the least.  Given the chance, they are the first to impose their views on the rest of society, so they really don’t want equality they want dominance.

On Voting

     I think this speaks to the problem the average American voter is facing.  As our politicians evolve and are shaped by the society they are supposed to serve are we able to find strong leaders who can stand on principle and build consensus?  


     Is it possible to find men and women who balance the constitution and individual rights, placing those qualities before personal ambition and greed?  
    
     Are there politicians who do not always use political gain as the basis for decision, and if so, is it possible for them to be elected President?

Communication

Victor Tango two-zero, turn left heading two-eight-five degrees until intercepting the localizer for runway two-two left, maintain two-five hundred feet, altimeter is two-nine-eight-four, cleared for approach, report outer marker to tower on one-two-four decimal five. 

Victor Tango two-zero roger, two-nine-eight-four, cleared approach, report outer marker to tower one-two-four decimal five, g’day.

VT20, LT 285, Loc, 22L, 2.5’, 29.84, Clr’d aprch, rpt OM, Twr V124.5

It’s funny how communication works and when you are in a profession you develop shorthand that makes perfect sense if you know it, speeds everything up, and confuses the heck out of everyone else.  The first graduate level course I ever took focused on communication and I can remember to this day the first lesson taught.  There are three components necessary in communication.  They are the sender, the symbols, and the receiver(s).  If any one of those components is faulty communication does not happen.

For example how many of the people who read this blog understood the first three paragraphs?  I, and most of the people I work with will.  The first is a clearance from air traffic control, the second is a readback of that clearance, and the third is a way to write it down so you can remember.

As we move forward with this grand experiment called America, I find it interesting to watch how our forms of communication evolve, but I still believe the fundamental wisdom of that first class holds true.  We see basic communication problems between generations, regions, and even different groups within the same region because we don’t have, or don’t use, a clear and unambiguous set of symbols as we interact.

How often we talk past each other as we attempt to transmit and not receive, we are so interested in pushing our points, our message, or our symbols that we never take time to listen to what is coming back at us.  In this sense we are like a bad radar set.  If all we ever do is transmit, and don’t interrupt ourselves we never see what is before us.  It is only in the reflection of our energy do we see the obstacles or understand what is important. 

 How about if we don’t understand the symbols we are using, or we choose to define our symbols in ways that are nonsensical? For example, if you correlate the wealth of success with insanity you immediately stop communication with people who understand that capitalism is a successful model for how American society is built and sustained, and if you choose to think those who acquire wealth are acting contrary to society you condemn yourself to a position where communication with them fails.  In that case, who is wrong?

There are Days!

     There are days, not often, when as I wake and consider what the day holds in store for me that I want to roll over and go back to bed.  Thankfully for me, those days are few and the feeling passes quickly as I look into myself and draw on the need to meet my obligations.
     So many struggle with self-doubt and depression in today's world.  They are excused and counseled about how to improve and cope with it.  I wonder how it was a hundred years ago when depression as a diagnosis didn't exist?  Did people face the same problems and did they deal with it any better or worse than we do today?
     We see increases in suicide, and anti-depressent medications, sometimes leading to life long use.  Is the suicide rate lower or higher than it was a hundred years ago?  How do we, or really can we, help people to move from debilitating depression to happiness?  Isn't this a journey each of us must travel on our own?

The Private Sector is Doing Fine!

     This has got to be my favorite line, so far, this political season.   Perhaps it is Freudian, but the entire response shows the President is a) out of touch with the average American, and b) clearly behind the idea that only Governments can create jobs through more and more spending.
     I wonder if this will catch on with the same vigor as Bill Clinton's "It's the economy stupid" line did when he defeated Bush, the elder. 
     This line captures the essence of the choice before America this fall.  Is job creation the role of the Federal, State, and Municipal governments or should their role be as unobtrusive as possible and allow private industry to create the jobs that lead to wealth?
     If you believe it is the role of government to redistribute wealth the question then becomes how much of your wealth should they redistribute?
     If you believe government should be as unobtrusive as possible then how much government is enough to "establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty?"
     With his initial explanation, before his advisors could put a good spin on it, he clearly showed he believes the government must be central in the lives of all its citizens and only it can create jobs with spending dollars we don't really have.

The Nobel Peace Prize, Three Years Later

Alfred Nobel made a fortune from selling explosives.  When he died he willed his estate to establish awards to recognize achievements in the sciences to better mankind.  There are awards in Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, and Literature.  All are awarded by the Nobel Prize organization in Stockholm Sweden.  It is also fitting that since his developments of explosives contributed to the destruction of man that he established a fifth prize for the advancement of Peace and took the unusual step of completely separating the award from the other four, even to the point it is not awarded in Sweden but in Norway.

The first recipient, in 1901, was Henry Dunant, founder of the Red Cross. There have been four American Presidents who’ve won the award, starting with President Theodore Roosevelt in 1906, for his involvement in ending the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905.  The next was President Woodrow Wilson, who received the award for 1919 in 1920, for his work on the Armistice that brought World War I to an end.  In 2002 the Norwegian’s awarded President Jimmy Carter the prize for as they said, “for his decades of untiring effort to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts, to advance democracy and human rights and to promote economic and social development.”  The fourth, President Barrack Obama, was awarded his prize after 10 months in office for “his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples.  The Committee has attached special importance to Obama’s vision of and work for a world free of nuclear weapons.”  At the time I wrote this short observation on the The Nobel Peace Prize.  Now, three (plus) years later, perhaps its time to see how this Nobel Laureate has furthered the cause of peace.

On the domestic side, he has called the Tea Party terrorists and the sides with OWS crowd as representative of the typical American.  He has encouraged the furtherance of class warfare and racial divide whenever there is a subject that calls for us to come together.  For example, his repeated segregation of the 1% and his condemnation for their wealth, in his statements on the Travon Martin shooting, or interference in state issues such as the union protests in Wisconsin.  As the democrats rammed home his signature piece of domestic legislation, the “Affordable Health Care Act" we certainly didn’t see him working for that peaceful solution with the opposition.  It will be interesting to see what the SCOTUS determines this summer regarding the constitutionality of this legislation.

Internationally, has he slowed the proliferation of Nuclear weapons as the Nobel Committee so hoped for?  I am not aware of any new treaties, and certainly Iran continues to move forward with its nuclear program and development of a way to deliver it to either Israel or Europe.  As someone in the Administration has leaked he personally oversees the drone strikes intended to assassinate leaders of the terrorist networks.  He has reduced the combat troops and called an end to the Iraq war, especially after they asked us to leave, but Afghanistan still continues with no clear strategy to victory, just a plan to pull back U.S. troops in 2014.  He supported the overthrow of the Egyptian and Libyan governments, while watching the Syrian regime continue its slaughter of its citizens.  In the process he has allowed over 10,000 advanced Libyan (Russian) shoulder fired surface to air missiles to go missing. It is true that in many of these issues he has followed the leadership of European countries like France, to help determine if it is in the U.S. national interest, so for at least that, some part the Nobel Committee should be happy.

Graduations and New Beginnings

This is the time of year when academic institutions traditionally allow the students held captive for the prescribed sentence to escape and enter the next phase of their lives.  Whether pre-school, kindergarten, high school, college or beyond there are people running around with caps and gowns all over the place, and posting their pictures to Facebook.  To all, I offer my congratulations and this unsolicited advice – the easy bit is over; now comes the hard stuff! 

This holds true no matter what you are graduating from or moving on to.  There are a number of clichés that talk of life being a journey, and for none of us is it a simple trip down a gentle slope.  Each part of our journey through life offers bigger challenges, deeper hurts, greater joys, and larger rewards as we face and overcome them.  Along each part there will be those who succeed and others who give up to failure.  Those are the unfortunate ones.  Failure is a good teacher if we learn and move on from it.  Don’t be afraid of failing, but don’t use it as a reason to quit.  You hold the keys to the future — don’t give them away through doubt, self-pity, indifference, or addiction.

Good Luck and Good Journey!