Saturday, March 30, 2013

The World is a Dangerous and Unfair Place

    I woke up this morning, which is a surprise considering how dangerous the world is.  I read and watch so much news that reinforces that premise that I just am not sure how I make it through the day.  I am terribly concerned that at any moment I will find that Tempurpedic mattresses have been found to cause cancer in Canaries, which would be tragic, if I had a Canary.
     Each day we face Global Warming, which causes bigger storms, warmer oceans, droughts, floods, beach erosion, shorter ski seasons, and longer winters.  To fight this we are adding ethanol, in increasing amounts, to our gasoline so that soon our lawn mowers won't work and there will be food shortages.  Unless we use genetically modified food, that the FDA has approved as safe as can be determined, which should be pretty safe as long as the right government is in charge of the FDA, setting the right standards to help with Global Warming, which we already know, is very dangerous.
    On the other side, we are being attacked with ever increasing ferocity by aliens, both domestic and intergalactic.  Someone is hurling meteorites at us, and they are getting better at it.  Fortunately, so far, they have only hit Russia, but they are definitely getting better at it.  On the domestic side, we have aliens that are demanding equal rights with non-aliens, and if they don’t get it they will do something bad, like vote, flood the healthcare system, or maybe lobby for Puerto Rico to become the 51st state, which would mean they would then have to do all the things a State has to do.  If that happens, what would be next?  Surely Guam wouldn’t want to become number 52?  Speaking of Guam, I worry that if we put too many US Marines on Guam will it really tip over as some in Congress have voiced concern with?  Having islands tip over is both dangerous and unfair, but I am not sure if it unfair to the marine life or the non-marine life.
    I worry about guns, a curse on society, brought to us by the Chinese in an attempt to dominate the world.  If the wrong people have guns then they kill people, if the right people don’t have guns they can’t stop the wrong people who do.  It is a vicious circle started by Genghis Khan, Kubla Khan, Kukla, Fran and Ollie, and ending with the birth of Ku Klux Khan.  We need to find a way to get all guns out of the hands of people who will use them for evil.  I fully support the current and ongoing efforts of the Department of Homeland Security to buy up all the bullets, because once we have used up the existing stocks of bullets the problem should go away and the world will be a safer place for those who don’t have guns.  As long as the right government is in charge of Homeland Security, setting the right protections against domestic aliens, and limits on the rights of the citizens for self protection and determination.
    Don’t even get me started on North Korea, a country that is doing its best to fight the causes of Global Warming.  If you look at a picture of the world at night you can see a country that doesn’t believe in keeping the lights on after dark.  It is limiting its use of nuclear power to strictly military applications, thereby reducing the potential for a China syndrome type accident, probably because China is a next door neighbor.  On the other hand, what good is having a nuclear weapon, and being a basketball-loving dictator, if you can’t use it (the weapon not the basketball) once in a while.  I am worried about a nuclear war, because if there is anything that does not go well with nuclear weapons it is an isolated country known to support terrorism.  Thankfully there are only a couple of those around, but if we had one of those wars, think of all the Carbon Credits Al Gore would have to sell them to zero balance out the effect of a mushroom cloud, or three, on Global Warming.
    And finally, since we are talking about dangerous and unfair, why do I have to iron my own shirts?  Just because I am the one who wears them and gets them wrinkled?  That is just wrong, and dangerous!  I don't know how I sleep at night with all this dangerous and unfair stuff out there.

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